The Journey Home Read online

  My head was spinning. I was pissed at Jack for lying to Maddie, I was pissed at Zoey for not telling me she was sick, and I was pissed at myself for not going after Maddie when she walked out of JJ’s. Or when she walked away from me two years ago.

  I glanced at Zoey. “No, Zoey, I don’t want you to have an abortion. This is all just hard for me. I mean, I travel so much and I’m probably going to be gone for most of your pregnancy. What if you get sick or something happens? And when the baby is born I’m never gonna be around. How do you see this working out?”

  She smiled and took my hand in her hand. “Cale, I know this is hard. It is for me too. I mean, this is my life we’re talking about. But I want this baby.”

  “Zoey, you told me that the doctors said you might have as few as five years. Are you thinking about this child? Do you really want her to grow up without a mother?”

  Zoey stood and squared her shoulders. “I’m going to be okay. I haven’t been sick in over a year. I’m going to be fine. We’re going to be fine.”

  I laughed, cynically. “I’m not even going to know my own child, Zoey. Does that matter to you?”

  “You will, babe. I promise, you’ll be very much involved in this pregnancy. I’ll make sure of it. Let me fix you a drink before I leave.” Barely stopping for a breath, she continued. “Oh, and my parents are insisting on meeting you now, of course.” She stood up and walked over to the bar where she poured scotch into a glass.

  This is not happening.

  I went into the kitchen and grabbed another beer. I downed the whole damn bottle right there in less than a minute. I was going to get drunk and forget this day ever happened.

  “Here baby,” Zoey said, handing me the scotch. “Drink this.”

  I grabbed the drink and downed it in one gulp. She poured another glass and handed it to me. Leaning against the kitchen island, she looked at her watch. “I’m going to pack a bag and start moving in, bit by bit.”

  “What?” I gasped. My heart dropped into my stomach. “What do you mean?”

  She turned to me and placed her hand on my chest. “Cale, I’m having your baby.”

  I blinked slowly and nodded. “I know, you keep reminding me.”

  She seemed angry, but her eyes soon softened. “I’m going to let that comment slide, babe. I know you’re stressed out.” She grabbed my glass and poured me another scotch.

  I looked at her and laughed as she walked back up to me and handed me the drink. “Yeah, I’m a bit more than stressed out,” I said as I downed the drink. The room started to spin.

  Shit. I never could hold my damn alcohol.

  Zoey dropped to the ground and before I could stop her she was sucking my dick.

  “Zoey, stop. This isn’t what I want right now.” My words were beginning to slur.

  She stopped and looked up at me. “Close your eyes and just relax babe. Just let me make you feel good. Think about nothing but feeling good.”

  I closed my eyes and green eyes popped into my head. Maddie.

  I went back to the night Maddie and I had spent together. I could hear every sound she made, see every smile, every time she looked into my eyes. I could feel my build up as I heard Maddie calling out my name as she came. Oh God, Maddie.

  “Oh, God yes,” I whispered as I felt myself explode.

  It wasn't Maddie's moans that pulled out of my fantasy, but Zoey’s. We were in bed and Zoey was riding me fast and hard. “Yes. Oh God, yes. Baby, I’m coming with you!”

  She arched her head back and screamed.

  “Zoey…” I quickly grabbed her and tried to stop her. I didn’t even remember coming to the bedroom. Did I put a condom on? Fuck! How in the hell do I not remember coming in here? My damn head was pounding and I could feel the buzz of the alcohol.

  “Zoey, shit! I don’t have a damn condom on!” I shouted as she snapped her head forward and laughed.

  She leaned down and kissed me on the nose. “Silly, I’m already pregnant! No reason to have a barrier between us now,” she said. “That was amazing. Your dick felt so good without a condom on. Besides, you were the one who started it, babe. You were so buzzed that you fucked me on the floor in the living room and twice more in here before passing out. Then you played with your dick in your sleep. I had to get on and ride it.”

  She got off of me and walked into the bathroom. I sat up and instantly felt sick to my stomach. The damn room was spinning.

  Jack’s words raced through my head. “You don’t know for sure that she’s pregnant.” he’d warned. “She could be lying. Don’t have sex with her without something on.”

  I ran my hand through my hair and looked down at my dick. It was covered in cum.

  Son. Of. A. Bitch. How many damn scotches did I drink?

  My cell started ringing as Zoey walked by, already dressed. “Here ya go babe,” she said, handing me my phone. “I’ve got to run, but I’ll see you before you leave town. Love you!”

  I didn’t say a word to her as she walked out the door. I looked at the missed call.

  Jack.

  I hit his number as I got out of the bed and headed to the bathroom.

  “Jesus, Cale. I’ve been trying to fucking call you. Where have you been?”

  I shook my head, attempting to clear my mind. “I’ve been home.”

  “I’ve tried like ten times.”

  “Really?”

  “Yes, really. I found out something you might be interested in. I pulled the recent sales in the Beaver Lake area. Guess who just purchased a house across the lake from you?”

  I reached for the Tylenol and took out three. Jesus, I need to not drink so damn much.

  Sighing, I said, “I give, dude. My head hurts too much to play this game. Plus, I’m somewhat drunk.”

  Back in my bedroom, I glanced at the clock.

  What the hell? It had been over six hours since we’d gotten home from JJ’s. I sat on the bed and tried to think back to my conversation with Zoey. Had we talked that long? And how many drinks had I had?

  “Maddison Powers.”

  Hearing her name from Jack made me totally forget everything else. “What about Maddie?”

  “Dude, where you even listening to what I was saying? Maddie, she bought the house across the lake from you. You’re fucking neighbors.”

  I swallowed hard. “Holy shit,” I whispered.

  “Holy shit is right. Now, what the hell are you going to do about that Zoey bitch?”

  I walked to my window and looked out across the lake. It was one of the houses I’d looked before buying mine. It was tucked back into the trees, like this one, but smaller. Maddie’s house. I’d wanted this girl for two years and now she was practically under my nose and I couldn’t have her.

  “I got drunk after we came home. Zoey started coming on to me,” I took a deep breath. “I closed my eyes and started day dreaming about Maddie. Before I knew it, Zoey was moaning and I was coming…without a condom.”

  “No. No. Why in the hell where you drinking?” Jack yelled. “Dude, you had three beers at lunch and then you went home and drank? I told you I didn’t trust her, Cale. I told you not to screw her until you saw a damn test!”

  I shook my head. “I don’t think Zoey would lie about this, Jack. She isn’t evil.”

  Jack laughed. “I call bullshit. I saw the way she looked at you and Maddie when you shook her hand. I’m telling you, she knows your past. She got way too much satisfaction out of telling Maddie she was pregnant.”

  I didn’t want to believe Zoey could do something like that. I wouldn’t believe it.

  “Jack, what the hell am I going to do?”

  There was silence for a couple of seconds before I heard Jack let out a breath. He mumbled a few curse words.

  “The right and honorable thing, if she really is pregnant. You’re going to stand by Zoey.”

  I nodded in silent agreement. I knew Jack was right. There was no way I could dump my pregnant, dying girlfriend for someone who might not
even be interested in me.

  “Jack, do me a favor. Keep your ears and eyes open, and let me know when Maddie moves into her house.”

  I could hear Jack moving papers around. “The offer still stands if you want to use my friend, the private detective. Let me have him poke around a bit.”

  Jack had offered a dozen times to search out Maddie for me. It just never felt right. Like, if it was meant to be, it would be. But things were different now. I knew I shouldn’t do it, but I had to know. I had to know everything about Maddison Powers.

  “Okay. Do it. Get him to find out as much as he can.”

  ONCE I WAS on the plane, I found my seat and sighed in relief as I sat down. I was flying home from Seattle after meeting with suppliers. My boss was nice enough to upgrade my ticket to first class, and I was going to give her the biggest hug and kiss when I got home.

  I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket and pulled it out. When I saw I had a text from Zoey, I rolled my eyes.

  Zoey: When are you headed back home? I’d love to go out and have a drink.

  Me: Today. And did you forget that you’re pregnant?

  Zoey: Ugh. No, I didn’t forget it. I’m starting to have to buy those nasty clothes.

  Me: Maternity? Is that what you mean?

  Zoey: You’re snippy! If you don’t want to meet up that’s fine. It’s just that Cale’s been gone for three months. He left pretty much immediately after I told him I was pregnant. I hate his house and I’ve been staying at my place in the city.

  Me: Why did you move in with him if you don’t like his place?

  Zoey: One reason would be that I’m pregnant.

  Me: I know, Zoey. I have to go. The plane is about to take off.

  I hate her. I felt guilty for feeling that way. The last three months had been hell. Cale had pretty much left town the day after we “met” at JJ’s. Monica had somehow hooked back up with Jack and the two of them had come to the conclusion that Zoey had always known about Cale and me. Jack swore she planned the pregnancy because she’d sensed that Cale was about to dump her. The only part of this whole crazy thing that kept me somewhat sane was that I knew Cale didn’t truly want to be with Zoey.

  I sighed. I didn’t really want to believe that Zoey, someone I called my friend, would be so evil. Bitchy, yes. But not evil.

  Then there was the sex thing. All I could think about was Zoey talking about Mr. Hot Pants fucking her all over the place. That wasn’t the Cale I remembered. Even though it was a one-night stand, he’d been sweet, romantic, tender. His words echoed in my ear as I closed my eyes. I could almost feel his lips on my skin.

  “Ugh, oh my God. Stop this, you idiot!” I said to myself, trying to think of anything other than Cale Blackwood.

  I heard a laugh and felt my heart begin to beat harder in my chest. “Do you always talk to yourself while you’re alone on a plane, Maddie?”

  My eyes snapped open. I couldn’t believe what I saw: Cale. Standing in the aisle.

  Great, two years of wishing him to appear and nothing. Now he’s going to start showing up everywhere.

  “What are you doing here?” I asked. My words came out ruder than I meant.

  His smile faded slightly. “I’m flying back home from Alaska.”

  The image of him screwing Zoey against a wall popped into my head.

  “I’m sure Zoey will be happy to have you home. She’s been sex starved.”

  Cale’s smile completely vanished as he turned and started to sit in the seat opposite of me. “Yeah, I’m sure she’ll be happy.”

  I watched him take the seat across the aisle from me. “Are you kidding me? You’re sitting there?”

  He looked all around him, then down at his ticket. “It appears I am. Do you have a problem that, Maddie?”

  His smug smile made me even madder. Now I’m mad that I was mad for no real reason. I rolled my eyes and looked away.

  We didn’t speak the rest of the trip. I tried to read a book, but I could feel his eyes on me. I hated the way it made my body feel.

  When the plane landed and had finally taxied in, I leapt to exit the plane as fast possible. But I felt a tug at my wrist. I let out a gasp. It felt like a million bolts of lightning rushing through my arm where his hand touched me. I looked down at his hand on my arm.

  “Why did you leave me that night, Maddie? Why did you walk away?”

  My chest started heaving as I looked into his beautiful, emerald eyes. The crowded plane seemed to fade away. I swallowed hard and closed my eyes briefly before opening them to stare up at him.

  “Because I was scared to death.”

  He tilted his head and looked at me with a questioning look. “Scared of what?”

  I gazed quickly at his lips before looking back into his eyes. “Of how quickly I fell in love with you.”

  Cale’s eyes lit up with fire and I pulled my arm from his and began walking away. Again.

  I was starting to get good at walking away.

  MONICA AND I sat on the deck drinking mimosas.

  “Aren’t you glad you took me up on the morning drinking?” she asked with a smile.

  I nodded my head. “Yes I am.”

  Monica glanced across the lake. “Have you seen him lately?”

  “I don’t really want to talk about Cale.”

  She snickered and said, “I’ll take that as a yes.”

  I sat back in my seat and sighed. “He’s everywhere. I swear. I go to the store and there he is. I go to the car wash, there he is. JJ’s to grab a burger and, bam! There. He. Is. And next to him, always, is Zoey.”

  “Did I tell you that I ran into her at Mulligan’s a few weeks ago?” Monica said. “Jack told me that every time Cale leaves town, Zoey goes out, pregnant or not. I wouldn’t be surprised if she was screwing around on Cale.”

  I looked at Monica, disgusted. “Oh God, don’t say that. She’s pregnant!”

  My cell rang and Zoey’s name flashed on the screen. I knew I was her only friend, and it killed me to feel the way I did about her. I took a deep breath and answered.

  “Hey, Zoey. How are you?”

  Monica rolled her eyes as she picked up her phone and sent someone a text.

  “Hello there, stranger,” Zoey said. “It sure would be nice to see you, especially since you live practically next door.”

  Guilt ripped through my body. “I know. I’ve been so busy with traveling lately. I’m headed to Florence, Italy in the next few days.”

  Zoey let out a pathetic sigh. “Jesus, it must be nice to jet off around the world like you do. I hate my life right now.”

  My mouth dropped open and I hit the speaker button, signaling Monica to listen in. “Zoey, you’re pregnant. You should be reveling in this.”

  “Really? You think so? I feel like shit, Cale doesn’t want to marry me at all, this baby is slowly killing me, and all of this bullshit just to—” Zoey cut herself off.

  I sat there stunned. Monica didn’t flinch. It was like she wasn’t surprised at all.

  “Just to what?” I asked. It was silent on the other end of the line. “Zoey? Are you okay?”

  “I’m just tired. Cale had me up all night with one orgasm after another. God, he just never stops. I mean, do you know how hard it is to have sex with your belly swollen at seven months pregnant? On the kitchen island, because your boyfriend wants you now?”

  I felt sick to my stomach. “No, I suppose I don’t.”

  Zoey laughed. “Or course you wouldn’t. If Cale wasn’t such a good fuck, I swear I’d probably tell him that I need a break from sex.”

  “Zoey, is there anything else you and Cale do other than have sex? I mean...can you not talk about anything but screwing?”

  Zoey giggled. “Why, Maddie Powers! Are you jealous of my relationship with Cale? It’s too bad you can’t find someone like him.”

  Monica stood up and was about to grab the phone, but I quickly picked it up and took it off speaker.

  “Anywho, darling, my mothe
r is coming for lunch today. I really need you here with me for support.”

  I shook my head and laughed nervously. “You need me where?”

  “Here, at the house. My mother and father will be here for lunch, and I can’t face them all alone. They just started talking to me again and I don’t want to ruin things. Please say you’ll come over for lunch.”

  “Um…to Cale’s house?” I asked.

  “No,” Zoey said. “To our house.”

  I bit down on my lip as Monica asked over and over what was wrong.

  “Uh, I don’t think I’m going to be able to make it.”

  Then I heard her start crying. Aw, shit. Guilt raced through my body yet again.

  “Don’t do it,” Monica said, pointing at me.

  “Maddie, please! Please don’t abandon me. I feel so alone. All Cale wants is sex, my parents are treating me like I’ve sentenced myself to death…you’re all I have left.”

  I rolled my eyes and dropped my head, defeated. “What time do you want me there?”

  “Damn it, Maddie,” Monica said as she walked into the house.

  “Oh, Maddie you’re the best! They’ll be here in a few hours. I’m getting more and more tired the further along I get. Can you come over soon and help me get ready?”

  Cale must be out of town I thought. That’s why Zoey needs me there.

  “Let me change really quick and I’ll be right over,” I said.

  Zoey thanked me again and hung up. I slowly walked back into my house to face one very pissed-off Monica.

  “Why do you let her do this to you?” she asked.

  I shook my head and tried to push past her. “I don’t know what you mean.”

  “You let her torture you. You and Cale are the only fools who don’t see what she’s doing.” Monica grabbed my arm. “She’s playing you. She’s always been jealous of you, Maddie. And when she found out Cale’s name that day in Starbucks, she must have put two and two together. I mean come on—Cale isn’t a very common name. She planned all of this. Cale was going to leave her. Especially after Jack admitted he’d lied to you.”