Made for You Page 6

“I’ve got a lot of work to do so I’ll see you around, Holden.”

  As I slowly moved away from him, I silently prayed he wouldn’t call out to me.

  “Hey, Em?”

  Damn it.

  I stopped my horse and glanced over my shoulder. “Yeah?”

  His expression seemed so sad I almost felt sorry for him. Almost. “I’m sorry I hurt you. I didn’t mean to.”

  I wondered if any other normal person would accept his apology. I knew my mother would. She’d smile and tell him what’s in the past is in the past. Me? No … I couldn’t walk away from him now without saying what I’ve dreamed of saying to him. Sliding off my horse, I walked over to him. Holden quickly jumped off his horse.

  Stopping short of him, I planted my feet wide, and if I hadn’t known any better, I’d swear my nostrils flared. “How dare you come walking back into my life thinking all you had to do was say you’re sorry? You know what, Holden? I don’t give a flying fuck about your apology. You destroyed me. You destroyed us, and you don’t get to get off that easy with a simple I’m sorry.”

  My heart was pounding in my chest and I was sure he could hear it. It was hot out already that morning, but a heat flashed through my body as I stood there staring at him.

  “I cheated on you.”

  Those four words knocked me completely off my feet as I stumbled backward. “W-what?”

  Holden shook his head. “I stayed back in LA over the holiday week our junior year because I had a huge test that following Monday. With our football schedule and all, I knew I needed to stay and study. If I failed that test, I was fucked. One of the other football players set up a study group early in the year. That’s where I first met Daphne.”

  Placing my hands over my mouth, I shook my head. I didn’t want to hear this. It was over … it didn’t matter anymore.

  “Please, Emylie, I need to tell you everything.”

  Tears began to fall freely now as Holden’s eyes watered up. “A friend of mine had a party over the Thanksgiving break. They were all drinking and someone gave me something that had me flying high. I don’t know if they slipped it in my drink or what, but I wasn’t myself. Daphne started flirting with me, and that was the last thing I remembered. I woke up the next morning naked in bed with her.”

  I dropped my hands and took a few steps back before I turned and started back toward my horse. Holden ran up to me and grabbed my elbow. “Em, please wait.”

  Pulling my arm from him, I spun around. “You dirty bastard! You came home that Christmas break and didn’t say anything to me. You never once mentioned you had met someone else. You kept me believing in us. We made love, Holden. I was with you after you … after you slept with her! I hate you so much.”

  A tear rolled down his face.

  “Why? Why are you telling me all this now? So you can get married with a clear conscious? Fuck you! You obviously enjoyed her much more than me, you motherfucker!” I screamed as Holden grabbed onto both my arms.

  “No! God, no Emylie. You have no idea how I felt that day. The aftermath of that one decision has haunted me since I woke up that morning and realized what I had done. I called you, but you didn’t answer. I left you a voice mail … do you remember? I begged you to call me as soon as possible.”

  Trying to break his grip, I cried harder as the memories flooded my brain. “I called you back, Holden. I called you back, and you never once mentioned you slept with another woman!”

  His eyes were filled with regret as he searched my face. “I tried to tell you. I tried so fucking hard to tell you. Then I heard your sweet voice and I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t hurt you like that. I thought if I forgot about that night, pretend I hadn’t slept with Daphne, everything would be okay. I even started looking into transferring to A&M for our last year.”

  My mind was spinning. “What? Why didn’t you tell me? What made you go from that, to calling me after Christmas break, the Christmas break we spent with each other. Making love and making plans about our future, to telling me you’d met someone and had to stay in California?”

  Pulling my arms out, I stepped back and held up my hands when I saw the look in his eyes. “No. Never mind I don’t want to know. Please leave me alone and go back to your Barbie doll. I’m sure she’s wondering where you are.”

  “Damn it, Emylie, stop!”

  Grabbing the reins of my horse, I quickly climbed up as Holden stood in front of Sunshine. “Get away from me, Holden. None of this matters anymore. You made a choice. You picked her over me. End of story.”

  Holden shook his head and said, “No, there’s so much more to the story.”

  Wiping my tears away, Holden stepped aside and pushed his fingers through his hair. “Our story’s over, Holden.”

  “No, Em. Please let me talk to you.”

  I gave a kick to Sunshine, she took off in a full run. Feeling the wind hit my face, I began to cry again before the cabin popped into my head. Turning her around, I headed back to Holden. He was walking back to his horse when he turned around and stopped. Coming to a fast stop, I jumped off of Sunshine and quickly made my way over to him. Pulling my arm back, I swung and punched him square on the chin.

  Holden stumbled back and called out, “Motherfucker! What in the hell?”

  Pain instantly shot through my fist and up my arm, but I held it in.

  “That was for even thinking of taking her to our cabin. That was our place, Holden.” My voice cracked as he stared at me. “She may be getting you for the rest of her life, but I had you first. That cabin was where you and I … where we …” Closing my eyes, my heart raced. I fought to find the words I wanted to say. Tears streamed down my face as I sobbed. “How could you take her there?”

  Holden walked up to me and pulled me into his arms as I hit his chest repeatedly. “How could you?”

  His hand laced through my hair as he pulled my head back and met my gaze. I’d never admit how amazing it felt to be in his arms again. Or how the way he was looking at me had my stomach in knots. “Em, I’d never take her to our cabin.”

  I felt like a fool and I was pissed I was letting Holden see me so upset. “She said on the phone you were taking her to a cabin.”

  Closing his eyes, he slowly shook his head. “I was going to take her to Russ’s cabins for a night. I wasn’t taking her to our cabin.”

  Oh fuck. Now I really feel like a fool.

  I stepped away from Holden and whispered, “I’m sorry. I’m sorry I hit you.”

  “Emylie, you don’t ever have to say you’re sorry to me. I deserve everything you throw at me. You have no idea how much I hate myself for what I did to you. What I did to us.”

  My knees felt weak, and I needed more than anything to get away from him. “I … I have to go.”

  Slowly making my way back over to Sunshine, I started to mount her when my body came to life. Holden grabbed my hips and lifted me up as I threw my leg over.

  Don’t look at him. Do not look at him.

  “She was pregnant, Em. I did what I thought was the right thing to do at the time.”

  Trying to control my trembling hands, I stared at him. I couldn’t believe what I had just heard. I didn’t want to believe it.

  “Wh-what?”

  Holden glanced away. “When I got back to LA, Daphne showed up at my apartment and told me she was pregnant. I didn’t know what else to do. I knew if I told you the truth, you’d hate me even more. You’d be disappointed in me, and I couldn’t stand that thought.”

  “You have a child?” I asked in a panicked voice.

  I shook my head. “She lost the baby before we had a chance to tell anyone.”

  His words hurt me more than he would ever know. All I could do was turn the horse and slowly walk off.

  Another dream of mine erased.

  Carrying Holden’s child.

  There was a light knock on the door to my office as I heard Debbie call out my name. “Emylie?”

  “Come on in, Debbie.”

>   Opening the door, she smiled big. “Are you headed down to the jubilee, darling?”

  I shrugged my shoulders and returned her smile. “Probably. Becca wants to take Sage to see the fireworks.”

  She grinned from ear-to-ear as she leaned against the door jam. Sitting back in my chair, I let out a giggle as I asked, “Why are you looking at me like that?”

  Debbie glanced at her fingernails while making an indecisive face and said, “You do still remember you signed up for the volleyball game, right?”

  I glanced at my calendar where I had it written down. “Yeah, it’s tomorrow though, right?”

  Pursing her lips together, she said, “Yep. Wear your bathing suit. It’s going to be hot.”

  “I am not wearing my bathing suit, Debbie,” I stated with a roar of laughter.

  “Okay … if you say so. Will you be joining us tomorrow evening for the reunion kick-off dinner?”

  I slowly shook my head as my heart sank. “I don’t think so. It would be awkward for me to be there with Holden and Daphne.”

  She nodded her head and gave me a slight smile. “Of course. Take the rest of the day off, sweetheart, and go enjoy yourself.”

  Wanting to leave early to pick up a few snacks for Sage tonight, I stood up. “I think I will. Tonight’s going to be crazy.”

  Debbie gave me a look that said she knew something I didn’t. She let out a quick breath and said, “You have no idea.”

  “WHAT DO YOU mean there is going to be a camera crew with us?” I asked Daphne as she walked out of the bathroom and into the small room of the cabin we were renting.

  “Daddy thought it might be a good idea to get some raw footage.” Turning and giving me a smile that said she was up to no good, Daphne sat down on the bed. “Besides, I know about the dinner.”

  I stared at her like she had lost her damn mind. “What dinner?”

  Laughing as she shook her head, she tilted her head and stared at me like I was the one who was losing it. “The dinner tomorrow? You know … the one celebrating our engagement that your parents are throwing for us?”

  I stared at her with a disbelieving look. Was she for real? She really thought this dinner was for her? “What?”

  Daphne stood and spun on her heels as she talked. “Ugh, really, Holden, I hate when you play dumb. I know about the damn dinner, so stop trying to hide it. Daddy wants the cameras there to document it all.”

  Holy freaking hell. She honestly believes that tomorrow’s dinner is for her. Unbelievable.

  “Daphne, I don’t know how to break this to you, but tomorrow’s dinner is the kick-off to the family reunion. It’s the same dinner my parents have hosted since I can remember. It has nothing to do with us. Nothing.”

  Dropping her mouth open, Daphne tried to speak. “W-what? Why … seriously? Your parents have no intentions of throwing us a party? What in the hell did we come here for?”

  My hands dropped to my side while my body slumped forward slightly. “For me. For my family to get to know the woman I planned on marrying. So you could see a little bit of where I came from. To break it to them you’re pregnant.”

  She let out a frustrated moan. “For fuck’s sake, Holden. We could have flown your parents out to LA and showed them a good time. We didn’t have to come all the way here and deal with all this horse shit, and foul smells, and looks from your mother. And excuse me, but did you say break it to them. Like they won’t be happy?”

  Pulling my head back, I asked, “Looks from my mother?”

  Daphne dropped her towel and quickly pulled on a pair of jeans she had overnighted from Austin. “Please don’t play coy with me. It doesn’t become you. We both know your mother is in love with that little country hick, Emylie. For Pete’s sake, they have her working at the ranch. It’s all over her face she wishes that woman was the one sharing your bed … not me.”

  I walked up to her as I shook my head. “You’re not giving my mother a chance to even get to know you. You’re either on your phone or locked away in the room and now … now you have us staying at these fucking cabins! And yes, I seriously doubt my parents are going to be happy about this pregnancy, if you want to know the truth.”

  Daphne glared at me while she stomped her foot. “There are people all over your house! And that house is bigger than my father’s. That’s saying something. Everywhere I turned, there were people. I wanted privacy, so excuse me for that. God, had I known what my life would have been like, I would have never said I was—”

  My heart stopped beating and the room instantly became silent. “You’d have never said what?”

  Pulling a T-shirt over her head, she closed her eyes and counted to ten. “Baby, emotions are really high right now, and I feel a panic attack coming on. That can’t be good for our baby. Maybe we should stay here tonight. I’m really not in the mood to watch fireworks anyway.”

  I glanced down at her bra that she neglected to put on, I picked it up and tossed it at her. “Put it on, Daphne. You want my mother to like you, to get to know you better? Well, tonight that’s going to happen. I plan on telling them about the baby before we leave, and I’d really like for my parents to at least feel like the woman carrying my child gives two shits about them.”

  The music from a local band was playing off in the distance as we walked around Main Street. Booths were set up and kids were running everywhere as Daphne walked next to me. We headed toward my parents when I saw them.

  Catching a glimpse of us walking up, my mother turned to us. Holding out her arms, she wrapped Daphne up in a hug. “Daphne, darling, I hope you were able to get some sleep. Holden said you weren’t use to all the hustle and bustle of our home.”

  Daphne plastered on a fake smile and shook her head. “Oh, no, that wasn’t it at all. It was a bit awkward being in the same home as Holden’s ex-girlfriend. I’m sure you understand how difficult that must be for me.”

  Choking on my own spit, I stared at Daphne as my mother’s mouth dropped open. I cannot even believe she said that. “Oh, my dear … you have nothing to worry about. Emylie and Mason are an item and have been for some time.”

  I went from choking to not being able to breathe.

  “Really?” Daphne asked with one raised brow.

  Waving her hand as if to brush off the conversation, my mother said, “Yes. Old news. Now let’s start introducing you to family.”

  Daphne gave me a look of horror as she whispered, “Oh, yay me.”

  Fifteen minutes later, I had downed three beers as I stood there and listened to Daphne go on and on about herself. I was almost positive Uncle Joe fell asleep twice.

  I lifted my beer to my lips then froze when I saw Emylie walking down Main Street with Becca. Mason was behind them with a little girl on his shoulders. It had to have been Sage, Becca’s little girl. It had been awhile since I’d seen her.

  It pained me to see how happy they all looked. How I longed to get out of this town once upon a time, and now I wished like hell I was in Mason’s shoes. He had the life I wanted. It took one fucking moment to change my entire world.

  Turning to Daphne, I tapped her shoulder. She was deep in conversation with one of my cousins who is a dancer in New York City. “I’m going to go say hi to a few people.”

  She lifted her hand to dismiss me and said, “Sure, sure, darling.” She never even looked at me.

  I rolled my eyes and headed over toward Emylie. She was currently helping the little girl aim a pretend gun that shot out water.

  “Hey,” I said as I slapped Mason on the back.

  He turned to me and frowned. “Hey, Holden.” I hated that he looked at me the way he did. We used to be like brothers.

  Emylie barely glanced up before going back to helping the little girl.

  “Who’s this?” I asked as I smiled.

  “I’m Sage.”

  Her little face beamed as she looked up at me with big green eyes. “You’re very beautiful, Sage.”

  “Sorry, Holden, she’s a l
ittle too young for you.” Becca flashed me a fake smile before peering over my shoulder. “Besides, it looks like your future bride isn’t too happy with you right now.”

  I quickly glanced over my shoulder only to find Daphne shooting daggers either at me or Emylie. Probably both of us.

  “She’s fine,” I mumbled before refocusing back on Sage and Emylie.

  “I won! Mommy, I won!” Sage screamed while jumping.

  Everyone cheered and I couldn’t help but notice how Mason stood next to Emylie. As if acting like a shield against me. Sage ran up to him. “Uncle Mason, I won! I won!”

  “I know and I’m proud of you, squirt. Told ya you had nothing to worry about.”

  Sage’s little cheeks blushed. Apparently Mason had a way with the girls, young and old.

  Becca took her daughter’s hand and said, “Come on, I’ll take you to get an ice cream cone, baby.”

  Mason and Emylie both glared at me. The awkward silence that filled the air grew tense.

  With a concerned expression, Mason said, “Maybe you should get back to Daphne. She appears to be upset.” Emylie looked into my eyes and I was completely lost in her gaze. What I wouldn’t do to see them every morning I woke and every night I went to sleep.

  “I wanted to make sure you were okay, Em. You left before we finished talking.”

  Pressing her lips together, she nodded. “I’m fine.”

  All I could do was nod. “I’ll see y’all around,” I said as I reached out and shook Mason’s hand. The idea that the two of them would end up in bed together tonight did things to me.

  With a quick nod, Mason said, “See ya.”

  Emylie remained silent as she stood next to Mason. “Bye, Em.”

  Her gaze quickly peeked over my shoulder to Daphne. I’d have given anything to know what was running through her mind. When she finally turned back to me, she simply turned and walked away.

  I didn’t think my heart could have broken anymore than it did right at that moment. Mason gave me a weak smile and followed her.

  “For someone who is engaged to another woman, you sure look devastated at the sight of Emylie and Mason together.”